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The time has come, as the soothsayers and mad conspiracy-theorists have predicted. Eldritch horrors slither from the primordial slime. Their vile cultists gather in blasphemous celebration of their dark masters. They contact us from the dark void beyond space, and their maddening calls are all but impossible to ignore. They want our vote.
In our daily lives, it’s tempting to blissfully ignore the creeping horrors that poison our world and drive us to despair. But now, more than ever, we at OffWorld Designs feel that Americans need a President with a plan that is clear and easy for anyone to understand. A President who isn’t interested in dividing us. A President who isn’t just popular, who isn’t just charismatic, but could rightly be called unstoppable.
Therefore, OffWorld Designs proudly endorses Great Cthulhu for President of the United States. Cthulhu won’t exclude anyone based on race, gender, religion, ability, or any other reason. Cthulhu isn’t beholden to special interest groups or powerful corporate lobbies. We are ready for a real change, and we are certain that America—and the rest of the world—are ready, too. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fthagn!
Would you like to be a volunteer? Cultists can always be found where you least expect them. Show your support at our Cthulhu store.